It was effortless for me to decide on a past work to use for my gateway experimentation. In the first semester of my sophomore year, I took my favorite class since coming to the University of Michigan: Black Americans in the Political System. My final term paper was titled “Colorism: The Hidden Discriminant in America’s Black Community.” Prior to taking this class, I knew that there were benefits to being a lighter-skinned black woman, but I had never conceptualized this with data or academic backing. My term paper was heavily data-driven, with support from political and economic studies. While I was proud of what I produced, I was left with many questions and knew that examining only the formal side of colorism did not do the topic justice. There was much more to uncover.
My first experiment was a personal narrative, delving into the vulnerable and candid side of colorism. I knew that my original work lacked subjectivity, so I sought to create this both early and in high volume. This experiment consisted of a set of 12 vignettes, each with my personal experiences, observations, and thoughts about colorism in America. These ranged from memories I have from elementary school to newer ones from my time at the University of Michigan. I knew that this experiment would differ most from my original work, so I wanted to conduct it first to have as much content to work with as possible. My goal here was twofold: self-discovery and resonation with my readers. As someone who has always been a beneficiary of colorism but didn’t know this term existed until I was 19, I felt that there was a lot of room for personal development and reflection. I sought to shed light on the ways that it manifests and the ways that I have subconsciously been complacent about it, as many others are.
On the other hand, I believed that a personal approach would resonate with people more than numbers and statistics could. Ideally, the personal narrative would allow a broad population to resonate with my ideas and experiences and to grapple with an introduction to colorism in American society, despite their prior exposure to this.
I was proud of myself for completing this experiment- I am not a fan of creative or personal writing, and this required me to do both. While the root of this dislike is difficult for me to pin down, I think it boils down to lack of experience and fear of sounding, for lack of a better word, cheesy. Personal narrative often reads to me as overly dramatic or excessively descriptive. When it seems like the author is trying too hard to paint a picture, I lose interest in the content and become distracted by the style of writing. While it is good to be aware of the stylistic choices an author is making, it shouldn’t draw from their content. I then attribute my lack of experience with this genre as a guarantee that I would make this same mistake. I struggled with the organization of my vignettes and with telling my story in a personable way that avoids being cheesy or disingenuous. Because of my reluctance to writing a personal narrative, I “concluded” the vignette in my sample excerpt. This was a mistake, as I wound up telling the reader what to think of my memories, rather than allowing them to interpret it themselves. Additionally, this clouded the format of my vignettes, making them a narrative/analytical hybrid. A true narrative would simply relay and describe the events. However, I fell into the habit of analyzing and interpreting them as well, making the impact weaker and adding a redundant element to my work.
My second experiment was the one that I decided to conduct fully: the “Watch Your Tone” podcast. This was meant to be NPR-esque, meaning ready for consumption by a diverse set of listeners. The conversational and interview aspects of the podcast are crucial, as one of my goals was to create an organic feeling and give listeners a chance to relate to the content. Though I chose to have my interviewed guests self-identify their skin tone, I thought the audio-only aspect would add an interesting element to discussing a topic rooted in outward appearances. Each episode of the podcast would delve into a different aspect of colorism, with content and guests reflecting this. Because I originally imagined the podcast as an open-ended project, there wasn’t much framework to my experiment. However, this made me excited, as something based in conversational audio comes with a great deal of potential. I became very invested in coming up with ideas for the episodes.
The experimentation for my podcast was helpful, but not fully indicative of what making this podcast would entail. My sample excerpt was only a script. I included external audio clips and questions I would ask my interviewee, but this does not nearly amount to recording it. Clearly, I completed the experimenting process with the most faith in this idea.
My third and final experiment was the only one to incorporate video. I modeled this off of Google’s Parisian Love advertisement, which is a screencap of a person’s internet navigation. I wanted the video to be investigative and intimate by showing a person’s “discovery” of colorism. This would begin with a simple Google search (“what is colorism”) and eventually develop into a display of evidence of skin-lightening and skin tone biases in different facets of our lives. To reach the largest audience possible, I chose to make the video incredibly simplistic. Upon reflection on this experiment, I regret this. My sample excerpt was dry and it was more difficult than expected to convey colorism in this simplistic light. The lack of audio made it disengaging, rather than compelling. I think there was a lot of untapped potential here. Why make the video simplistic when colorism is so complex and multi-dimensional?
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I chose experiment 2, “Watch Your Tone,” as my final experiment for several reasons. First, because it pushed my boundaries as a writer without causing me to lose my sense of direction. The format was new to me, while the content and tone was more familiar. Second, I was most eager to continue on this experiment after creating a sample excerpt. I knew that a podcast would give me the chance to include raw and personal content through interviews, while also incorporating data and academic information through my narration. The first and third experiments were limiting in this sense. My goal for my final project was not to eliminate the objectivity that my original work possessed, but to complement and soften it with subjectivity.
It was not difficult for me make this decision. Using a combination of class feedback and personal opinion, it was a clear favorite. I had the most faith in my ability to complete this experiment successfully. To me, success meant making my listeners being to understand the scope of colorism and leaving with a desire to know more about it. After completing a full episode, there is still much to learn, stylistically, technically, and personally. However, I am still confident in my choice.
Because “Watch Your Tone” has personal contributions both from myself and Ola, there was potential of falling into the “cheesiness” that I so frequently hope to avoid. I constructed questions ahead of time that would keep the conversation on the desired route- casual, but informative. I found comfort in the fact that I could edit the content after recording as well (although I included all of it). This allowed me to be less controlling of the conversation and fearful of cheesy dialogue. Additionally, the framework of the podcast made avoiding cheesiness easy. Because the start and end were moments of fairly formal narration, even with Ola’s personal narration there was room for explanation and support. This complemented the intimacy of her stories, rather than leaving them to be interpreted as overwhelming or over-the-top.
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This entire process has taught me a lot about myself. More than anything, it has reiterated that I don’t like experimentation. In the same vein, it taught me that experimentation is necessary. This process allows you to clarify your goal, realize new ways that it can be achieved, and even change it altogether. Without having two experiments to compare to, I may not have selected the podcast. My desire for subjectivity may have pushed me to select the personal narratives- something that produces good content, but that I am truly not confident or prepared to produce. Taking the risk in creating something that may result in failure was daunting, but has proven to be rewarding.
Coming into the Minor in Writing program, I knew I would need to confront my dislike for creative and personal writing. My first experiment was uncomfortable for me, and this discomfort did not subside as I worked more. I still dislike personal narrative, but I know this cannot be equated with being bad at it. I was impressed with the ideas and content that I was able to produce for this experiment. Throughout my remaining time in the program, I’d like to experiment a bit more with this style and discover ways that I can become more confident with it.
My motivations have remained static between my original work and my final “Watch Your Tone” work: to successfully condense and communicate the impact that colorism can have. More broadly, to produce a work that confronts a socioeconomic issue and compels people to actually care about it. I cannot say for certain whether or not my podcast achieved this, but I can say that it gets closer than my original work did. The dialogue is interesting and content-filled, there are real-world excerpts included, and there is room for future development. As a writer, even the works I produce in my free time are consistently academic pieces, with a formal and argumentative tone. This is not because I have the most experience writing in this manner- I’d imagine all students do. I enjoy creating works that are structured, clear, and targeted. When applying to the Minor in Writing program, I knew that I’d be targeting the program to improve upon my professional and academic writing. After graduation, I hope to attend law school, which is part of what drove me to apply to minor in writing. As “Watch Your Tone” is a new experience for me as a writer, it carries a lot of value. It showed me that this preference can still apply even when format drastically changes. In the experiment phase, I felt that “Watch Your Tone” would be a sharp deviance from my preferences as a writer. After creating it, I don’t feel that it was at all. I think that this experience will increase my willingness in the future to commit to things I would not “typically” choose to do.